lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
