There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
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The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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