HIV tests are more positive than that guy
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
