Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
