Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
