I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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