She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
