All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
