i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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