Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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