Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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