But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
