We're facebook friends in real life
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
