consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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