Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
