i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
