i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just want nice things and good sex
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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