At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Randomize
