If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
third nipple confirmed
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
