My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
