You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
