I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize