oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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