you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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