so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
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He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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