watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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