direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
