Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
