I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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