She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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