You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
