Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
