yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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