I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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