What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
