You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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