Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
