If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
