This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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