glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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