Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
