Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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