YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
