if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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