I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You can't just leave with hair like that
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
