D3 body, D1 cock
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How does one acquire holy water?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
why is half of my head shaved?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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