Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Nicole vs. Life
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
did you just send me my own nude
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
