I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
