"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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