I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
