He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
