is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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