Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
