I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im holly from the hills drunk
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
