Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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