she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
