Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
