Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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