remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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